The polititcs of asking How are You?

Well, couple of things.

1. I like Howdy. Howdy is good.
It's not just because it is the official greeting of Texas A&M.
It works. I mean its functional. Some one greets you Howdy and you say Howdy back.
Case closed. Done .Finito.

But when you are asked, "Hey, How are you ?" the landscape changes drastically.
You've gotta say " I'm good/great/fine." pause. "How are you ?".
Now it's not entirely that its too long to say back you know ?
I mean it is, but it isn't that long - for normal people.

Words like normal come into question for anything related to me.But anyway.
Thing is I'm never thinking in terms of the visual data in front of me while I'm walking/ moving/ passing through a place...whatever. That is I'm almost always thinking of something else, sometimes related to reality(relatively) , but mostly it is completely and ridiculously unrelated to anything at all.
So the " Hey How are you......." takes me completely by surprise...knocks me out.....like a bird crashing into a glass pane ! ouch! reality check. Then I have to suddenly connect to stuff happening around me. Identify which way the voice came from. Recognise the face and then say the rest...and of course if it's someone you know, the rest of the being sociable crap.

It might not sound like a great deal. But it is. Each time, the entire process I described above happens in extremely slow motion for me....you know like keanu dodging the bullet ? Only difference being what if he moved slowly and still all the bullets struck him - dead on target too. Same thing. By the time I am ready to say the "Good, How are you"....the person might have already passed me by....and I can't run behind, tap them on the shoulder and say it you know? It's not that kind of thing. Or worse still, you wait for the elevator, which takes a hell of a long time to come up , and people shoot out of it as it opens up and someone says the dreaded greeting words...... and before you know what hit you they are gone. And you spend the rest of the time in the elevator, feeling bad....about your lack of response, your being slow, you being a misfit in society esp american etc. Yes the hard part is the guilt...lol...of not being able to reply. It's tougher than you think....

I mean americans are used to it. Its their form of greeting. So they are obviously good at it. And original too....as in they have various forms/types/variations for asking it and replying. The Indians are bloody predictable. That includes me too, don't worry. But at least I do not keep shooting that question, at the slightest chance. I mean I don't know that many people.... :) :) but if you indeed know someone well, that means you know them, so....you would have something better to say, or you would talk longer, so the whole "how are you" paradigm is bypassed.
And even if I manage to return a volley of "Good .How are you doing?" back at them.... they shoot back the reply...(I don't even know what it is they say) ... so fast I don't know what hit me(sometimes you are going somewhere so fast, that you are out audible range....lol). I mean the whole exchange has to take place in less than 4 seconds, if you are on the move...which is usually the case. And desi's shoot it out like they've been practicing it all their life. It's good in a way shows their commitment....... they are here to stay....lol. :)

There is of course the larger issue, of the redundance of the question. Why do you have to ask a question to which you already know the answer ? That too like a zillion times over. People are all "fine/good/pretty good or great" There is no sorrow or want on the face of the earth, if you go by the response to this question ... lol. By now anyone reading these thoughts would definitely have come to the conclusion that I'm cuckoo..or seriously messed up. But try to believe me, I have nothing against this form of greeting. I means it's polite, civilized...all that. Its probably just my small town typically overtly sarcastic mallu thinking that makes me a bit bitter of this greeting. I realise that. But I sometimes still do get unreasonably angry when Indians/desi's shoot this question at me. I almost feel like replying..

I'm good/fine...DAMN IT! What do you expect !!
..........................................
And How are you , You fuck !

lol..just that...that might lead to a very deconstructivist outcome ...eh ?