Hmm

you have to keep going.
have to keep going.
For some the world presents itself as more of a mystery than it does to others.
So take it as it comes.....with a nonchalant shrug and a smile.
You can maybe add in a sarcastic joke - just like Mr. Bond.... but more Zen like.

The Zen master at church

Things aren't particularly rosy these days.
In ways more than one.
Struggling to handle a lot of thoughts that were threatening to bog me down even further, I decided to go to church.
After a long time.
I'm I have to admit, slowly becoming a liberal, loosely spiritual kind of guy with no firm religious rooting.
In american lingo tis called "secular"-one who believes in no particular religion/no firm religious convictions -its a negative term here - bandied around a lot by the republicans against the democrats/liberals.

That is strange, because coming from an Eastern orthodox church background, esp the indian syrian orthodox church - rituals (of which going to church is the least demanding) are everything. As is typical of all eastern religions.

Atheists like Dawkins have said that the "peace" that you feel in church - the "upliftment" of your spirits when you attend mass on sunday is a kind of a positive "mass hysteria".
But Hysteria neverthless - that being his point.
And I attend the St.Mary's catholic church here (once in a while).
For the very religious reason - that it is a stone throw away from my aptmt.

My point is that catholics too are often caught up in their rituals and rules - obsessively so....the priests I mean, not the people.
I'm wrong . The people are also as obsessive in their belief, or the public display of it- almost as obsessive they are in breaking it come friday night party time. But that's allright. One has to be young and foolish at some point and make mistakes. And I guess live upto the american way of life - which is "unlimited freedom" to do whatever it is one wants to do ? :P
Ofcourse I'm being sarcastic.

So the sermons aren't all that interesting - it mostly deals with the church and its customs - mostly it is light hearted banter. The kind of advice you wont feel too bad in breaking. And even if you do, you can come back next week. All this,ofcourse isn't the reason I dont go often . I'm not throwing the "Stone" in biblical terms without taking into account my failings.
I'm mostly lazy and now increasingly becoming "secular" if I'm a bit harsh on myself.
And the undergraduate kids holding hands, cuddling and kissing in church make me uncomfortable. Come on , I'm a smalltown Indian Kid(not any more) with tons of cultural baggage (indian+malayali+ orthodox christian) and added to that significant personal baggage too. :P

But isnpite of all this I went and the weeks sermon was idelightful - unusually so.
Not because of the speaker was good or intersting or inspiring or insightful. He was average, but the message itself touched me.

Now I cant quote the exact words, but Jesus asks his disciples to go out into the world and preach the gospel. And he tells them, travel lightly, lightly to the extent not even a change of clothes, not another pair of footwear, carry no worldy posessions. Preach the gospel. If they hear you and accept you, well good for them. If they don't, well, shake of the dust from your sandals and just continue.

As I heard it , I was deeply impressed, not because I had never heard of it before, but the almost zen like quality of the advice. Not to care about worldy posessions, to do one's job, and get on with it, not to worry about how people recieve you. To believe that things will work out as you go along and not get caught up in achieving ,earning, keeping score, worrying and planning.

It's a great message and I think it comes at no better time- not just for me , but for most of the world.

Architecture is..

Any final sweeping philosophical statement about Architecture seems a bit trite to me.

Architecture has always been for me a quest - a search; both into the inner and about the outer world. Realization on both realms somehow seems inextricably connected to me.

My deep love for theory and history guides to a large extent my thinking and studio work. But in the end, after  all the obstruse theory and intellectually stimulating dialogue,  I feel ever more closer to Kahn's wonderfully mystic words "Architecture is......."

For me it is not an incomplete statement. 

It does not just mean that Architecture is something complete in itself; like the elements which just are.  It means that it also has to be complete in itself as tangible sensual experience - as form, space, light, shade and texture - actively affecting ones emotions and life positively in whatever small way, in every moment spent in it.

That quality in the end is what I think I have always wanted my architecture to have. An offering to the spirit of architecture.

Words and the "Idea" of India

Explosions. Terrorism.Attacks. Civilians dead... and India in the news for all the wrong reasons.

Any word uttered in this situation has to be very very thoughtful and right. Who are we to blame ?  "Non- state/Stateless" terrorists ?  Terrorists cannot not have a state. They have to live somewhere, train somewhere. True a nation like pakistan might not be in control over all of its own territory, and its own military.  If not, these are times to act on that. 

Another popular word used is " Muslim terrorists". What a colossal mistake. The right terminology is so much critical...because words mean a great deal. Language is all we have to communicate to each other and its so irresponsible and insensitive to use such flippant terms. Islamic fundamentalism apart, these terrorists are muslims only in name. We all have friends of the Islamic faith who are as much good citizens of india and the world as any other. Modern India has to shed this identification with religion for EACH and EVERY single thing....first in our everyday terminology.

Apart from mistakes in terminology, there's a lot of insensible and irresponsible ideas thrown around. First of all....things like "nuke pakistan".  Have we lost it ? It is as Arundhati roy so beautifully put it  "The end of imagination" when we advocate nuclear war.  Our families, our lives, our friends and our country and all of what we've achieved over 60 years will go back to the stone age...to barren and radioactive wasteland.  Jesus Christ !.. for God's sake let not terrorism make us as idiotic and freaking stupid as the terrorists.  Another one is let's wind up democracy and have military rule...if I couldnt understand the anger and sadness behind such a sentiment/statement , I would've  found it hilarious. 

Abandon democracy ?  The worlds grandest, biggest experiment in democracy ...to become what...pakistan... a defunct democracy where the army when it feels like takes over the country.....where such generals  say they'll make the people "eat grass" to have a nuclear bomb ? Thankyou,  I'd rather have food and the right to vote, and go to court and protest and demonstrate.  I won't have a military state like pakistan nor a  one party autocratic state like china - where i can't hold up a banner in the street and where if i'm picked up by the police - there is no place  for my parents to ask or enquire about me.  Democracy is what makes us different. It's precisely our democracy and secularism and multicultural heritage these lunatics are targetting.  More than 70 million people vote in India...70 million.... and not just that;  we are the worlds most representative democracy.... the no. of elected officials to represent each section of our country is simply staggering.  What more proof...do we need to realise when we criticize " The Government"....that this "Government" is basically us...you and me. And if only we did our jobs well - our country would be much better of.

Another issue is the blinding, surprising and befuddling  ignorance of the Indian constitution- of the "Idea" of India.  What do we mean when you and I say "I'm an Indian". Its a question we all should ask ourselves. And unfortunately most of us are surprisingly out of an answer. Being born somewher e between the himalayas and the indian ocean doesnt make you an indian. For me atleast the answer is simple. You might even laugh at it and say its too simplistic... too technical. Tell me if you have a better one. 

                                   I'm an  Indian because I believe in the constitution of India.Because I believe,  (to quote the preamble to the constitution) that "We,  the People of  India ",  have solemnly resolved to constitute India into a "Sovereign

Socialist** Secular Democratic Republic" and

"to secure to all its citizens Justice , Liberty and Equality and Fraternity"  . That is my creed for being an Indian.  Remember thats what we say in our pledge.... the "all indians are my brothers and sisters" thingy. It is what our elected officials say when they take the oath of office " to follow and protect the constitution of India" Today not only do we disrespect these symbols - these "statements of belief",  we are ignorant of them. And pathetically we see them as hampering our progress, we see them as our weakness - we see the right of every Indian to recieve a fair trial, to have civil liberties irrespective of our what our specific religion is.....as weakness and obstruction to "security" from terrorists.

If we know that this set of beliefs is what makes us Indians......would we use all these hateful terminologies, feelings and irresponsible ideas that we utter so self righteously ? The history of modern India - the modern "idea " of India starts somewhere around the beginning of the 20th century. I'm sure there are other points of view... which would trace origins to the gupta period or something. I'd be very interested in such views if any, to say the least.  Rationality,  developmental psychologists say is the ability to think from multiple points of view/perspectives....thats why reason is sometimes called perspectival reason.I wonder how very educated people can be bereft of this .

As some one in a design profession- and importantly as an architect - I've  been always proud that we as a profession have this special ability to think from different points of view - merge clashing ideas- be open to muliple ways of looking at things. At times like these when I find rightful  anger and sadness , giving away to blind hate ...even among some of us...as few as it may be..it somehow seems a very big let down. I say this because the "idea" of India requires one to have an open pluralistic way of looking at ourselves- at our history.... beyond the specifics of which mosque was really a temple and which temple was really a buddhist sanctuary a 1000 years ago.   

The idea that we may be different in religion, color,language, customs, physical appearence but that we are one people, that together we can govern ourselves and pursue liberty, equality, justice and individual happiness and our life's desires.....that is no petty idea...its a grand magnanimous vision..no petty mind can grasp it.  Whatever their faults maybe these are ideas/strains of thought that were given form by many of our leaders  of independence .....  one I know of is Nehru- who did it so beautifully in the discovery of India(whtever else his colossal mistakes may be).  The idea of an India where seeming opposites exist,  where layers of religion, culture, customs,  races, time periods , tradition and modernity are overlayed over each other and forms a rich kaleidoscope - a crazy chaotic yet harmonious and beautiful whole. That somehow is India for me.  

Many may say and have said,  mind you, that this is a  romantic, impractical and perfectly useless idealism at its  eloquent best.  It may well appear to be,  but for me idealism is not to be divorced from pragmatism. Ideals are what drives our pragmatism. Whenever it has not, we've seen genoicide, war and innocents persecuted in the name of pragmatism.  Afterall Hitler reduced unemployment in germany from 6 miliion to under half a million by starting armament produuction, war and killing jews.  He was practical wasn't he ?  Some tease me on the same note on my "Obama mania".... why I spent so much time listening to his speeches.  I did that for the same reason.......for the first time in my lifetime I saw a politician saying  look idealism and pragmatism can go together,  its not true that you have to sacrifice one for the other. 

Exactly my  sentiment and thats exactly what my answer is to people who reluctantly say RSS or shiv sena or some radical wing of hindu fundamentalism is the only solution. 

NO.  No idealogy of hate can be(or has ever been) defeated by another idealogy of hate. period. 

 

** The idea of socialism as the supreme court of India declared in a ruling is not a communist idealogy or term. It denotes social equality  - absence of discrimination on the basis of race creed color religion sex and so on.

" I first of all felt Joyous.I felt what Joy is made of, and i realized that Joy itself must have been the impelling force, that which was there before we were there...and that somehow Joy was in every ingredient of our making.When the world was an ooze without any shape or direction,there must have been this force of Joy that prevailed everywhere and that was reaching out to express.And somehow the word Joy became the most unmeasurable word. It was the essence of creativity, the force of creativity.I realized that if i were a painter and about to paint a great catastrophe,i could not put the first stroke on campus without thinking of Joy in doing it.

You cannot do architecture/make a building without being joyously engaged.
I would like to feel that i've not forgotten nor have you as i speak to you about the stream of Joy which must be felt.Otherwise you really dont feel anything.If what i say somehow activates that feeling,I would ofcourse be terribly pleased and honored "

Lou Kahn

TTYL

Hmm well I thought all this being by myself, made me pretty unexcitable.
Damn it !
Man! Ive got a long lonely semester coming up and I have to start all over again.
urghhhh!

The polititcs of asking How are You?

Well, couple of things.

1. I like Howdy. Howdy is good.
It's not just because it is the official greeting of Texas A&M.
It works. I mean its functional. Some one greets you Howdy and you say Howdy back.
Case closed. Done .Finito.

But when you are asked, "Hey, How are you ?" the landscape changes drastically.
You've gotta say " I'm good/great/fine." pause. "How are you ?".
Now it's not entirely that its too long to say back you know ?
I mean it is, but it isn't that long - for normal people.

Words like normal come into question for anything related to me.But anyway.
Thing is I'm never thinking in terms of the visual data in front of me while I'm walking/ moving/ passing through a place...whatever. That is I'm almost always thinking of something else, sometimes related to reality(relatively) , but mostly it is completely and ridiculously unrelated to anything at all.
So the " Hey How are you......." takes me completely by surprise...knocks me out.....like a bird crashing into a glass pane ! ouch! reality check. Then I have to suddenly connect to stuff happening around me. Identify which way the voice came from. Recognise the face and then say the rest...and of course if it's someone you know, the rest of the being sociable crap.

It might not sound like a great deal. But it is. Each time, the entire process I described above happens in extremely slow motion for me....you know like keanu dodging the bullet ? Only difference being what if he moved slowly and still all the bullets struck him - dead on target too. Same thing. By the time I am ready to say the "Good, How are you"....the person might have already passed me by....and I can't run behind, tap them on the shoulder and say it you know? It's not that kind of thing. Or worse still, you wait for the elevator, which takes a hell of a long time to come up , and people shoot out of it as it opens up and someone says the dreaded greeting words...... and before you know what hit you they are gone. And you spend the rest of the time in the elevator, feeling bad....about your lack of response, your being slow, you being a misfit in society esp american etc. Yes the hard part is the guilt...lol...of not being able to reply. It's tougher than you think....

I mean americans are used to it. Its their form of greeting. So they are obviously good at it. And original too....as in they have various forms/types/variations for asking it and replying. The Indians are bloody predictable. That includes me too, don't worry. But at least I do not keep shooting that question, at the slightest chance. I mean I don't know that many people.... :) :) but if you indeed know someone well, that means you know them, so....you would have something better to say, or you would talk longer, so the whole "how are you" paradigm is bypassed.
And even if I manage to return a volley of "Good .How are you doing?" back at them.... they shoot back the reply...(I don't even know what it is they say) ... so fast I don't know what hit me(sometimes you are going somewhere so fast, that you are out audible range....lol). I mean the whole exchange has to take place in less than 4 seconds, if you are on the move...which is usually the case. And desi's shoot it out like they've been practicing it all their life. It's good in a way shows their commitment....... they are here to stay....lol. :)

There is of course the larger issue, of the redundance of the question. Why do you have to ask a question to which you already know the answer ? That too like a zillion times over. People are all "fine/good/pretty good or great" There is no sorrow or want on the face of the earth, if you go by the response to this question ... lol. By now anyone reading these thoughts would definitely have come to the conclusion that I'm cuckoo..or seriously messed up. But try to believe me, I have nothing against this form of greeting. I means it's polite, civilized...all that. Its probably just my small town typically overtly sarcastic mallu thinking that makes me a bit bitter of this greeting. I realise that. But I sometimes still do get unreasonably angry when Indians/desi's shoot this question at me. I almost feel like replying..

I'm good/fine...DAMN IT! What do you expect !!
..........................................
And How are you , You fuck !

lol..just that...that might lead to a very deconstructivist outcome ...eh ?